Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Idle Notes

November 27

Dear Wichita,

Amy was chatting at me last night at the bookstore. It came as no surprise to me that her boyfriend and her are no more. She was remarkably composed while telling me the initial details of the breakup, but that could only last for so long. Soon she was crying, running to the back room. For twenty minutes. Nice. Oh, don't worry about the 20 customers in the store and the ringing phone, no its ok, go cry into a wad of toilet paper and stare into the mirror. For twenty minutes. Girls.

She wandered back out, all red eyed and flushed, trying to look like she had her shit together. I would have felt sorry for her if her story was anything close to Mary's and mine. But it wasn't, Amy's story was just another teenage drama romance collapse, complete with her assumption that everyone cares. I could have blown her weak breakup story out of the water with just a few tidbits of info about Mary and me, but I'm not ready to go there yet. I honestly think that Amy is convinced that there is a TV camera filming her, like she is on some damp and ugly version of the OC.

I basically ignored her for the rest of the night. I was sure to run the store's CD player like it was my own, I didn't need Amy listening to her girl noise and start bawling again. Ugh, I might start crying if I have to listen to Hilary Duff's watered-down version of cry-rock. She looked like she wanted to start talking about it again, but she wasn't going to tell me anything I didn't already know. And plus I'm in a callous mood lately, so I basically made myself scarce.

Guten came in, spent a long time in the front corner of the store wandering through a nearly-destroyed copy of The Metamorphosis by Kafka. Its a good read and one of my favorites, but Guten is so self-contained that to approach him, or to even look him in the eye, is overly daunting, especially for a just-over minimum wage Kansas import like me. Who am I to disturb him? He would leave me alone at Hock's, so I reasoned that I should leave him alone when he is in his sanctuary. Seems fair.

Ugh, I guess I should do something with my life before I have to go my shift at the bar. That's the problem working late shifts. You work so late and sleep in, so most of the day is gone by the time you wake up, only to go to work again. It is the 9-5 grind, only PM to AM, not the other way round. I got a few hours to go before work, and I really need some new clothes, jeans specifically. Just because my hair makes me look like a hobo, doesn't mean I have to dress like one. I'm out to impress, don't you know?

Yea, I'm out to impress all right. Big city, bright lights, and plenty of seriously dark nights.

Impressed yet?

Yea, me neither.



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